11/8/2015

I love my littles. Kate and William are SO much fun (most of the time- although being completely honest, they’re not sleeping through the night and it’s not awesome). William is starting to walk. I think in another month he’ll really have it down and he’ll be trying to keep up with Kate! This is a relief because he is seriously too heavy to carry at this point. I can’t believe how fast his 13 months of life have gone! That kid is getting into everything, climbing anything he can manage, and he loves his sister. Kate is getting braver with new people. She sings to entertain us all and her voice is so distinct – everyone loves to just listen to her babble.

I have reflected a lot lately on “fulfilling the measure of my creation.” I have a long ways to go, but I have determined that a good step right now for me would be to read more. I love to read, but it’s all too easy to sit down and watch a movie instead. I just got through a few chapters of “The First 2000 Years.” I’m learning a lot and more importantly I’m feeling the spirit. I have tried for a while to have meaningful scripture study and I think this book may be the key. There’s nothing like a good book to help wake me up! I feel “asleep” too often as a mother – like sleep deprivation and business work together to keep me in the dark. I want to feel like I’m progressing spiritually and that my family is doing the same. I can’t do that if I’m not setting aside time to really read and reflect.

On that note, we’re renewing our efforts to have family home evening consistently. We read a Christmas story today (we’re starting early). We sang a song, said a prayer, read a story and discussed, and we were done! It was short but the spirit was there and it was refreshing. I hate feeling like our family is just living in chaos (although if I'm being honest, chaos pretty much perfectly descripes every day life), and when we at least do a few things right (attend church, FHE) I can feel like there is some semblance of order and I can feel calm.

William's Birth Story

William's Birth Story (born September 24, 2014):
10/8/2015



My pregnancy with William was easy enough, but I don't know if my body had completely recovered from being pregnant with Kate (they are only 17 months apart) because I felt like he was going to fall right out of me for the entire 3rd trimester. Luckily he came 3 days before his due date - he felt so heavy! He came out at 8 Ibs and 2 ounces, which isn't super big but it really felt so big to me!

 I immediately fell in love with William - it was a completely different experience than with Kate because when Kate was born they took her right over to the warming table to get her cleaned and fixed up. It felt like forever before I got to hold her! I learned from that and had them put William right on my chest before they even cut the cord. I could feel his sweetness, despite his loud crying (he had quite a pair of lungs!). I just kissed his head and enjoyed every moment. I always think it's cheesy when moms say they "enjoy every moment" but in those first few moments, I definitely enjoyed every one. He was the easiest birth ever - it was so fast! I had a scheduled induction (because I was already dilating) and they barely had to give me any patosin before my body was ready to go! He really just came right out - I had an epidural but not until I was dilated to a 6 and I still wasn't feeling contractions. I felt a few right before I got the shot and I remember thinking, "feeew, that was close!" Seriously though, I love modern medicine.


Recovery was bliss. Mom came to help with Kate while I worked on getting nursing down with Will, for which I will always be grateful. William was a peaceful baby; I just couldn't be frustrated with him even when he would wake up in the night (which of course he did - he still does). The only non-blissful part was getting Kate used to the change. She is a pretty sensitive girl and for at least a good month, she was pretty angry. She started to get angry even before Will came - I think she could sense that something was about to change. She did get over it though and now they are so cute together. Kate watches over Will and Will just adores her. He wants to do everything she is doing.

I love these kids - they are my world! At times I want them to stay little, but then I also look forward to watching them grown and mature. It has been beyond fun to see Kate learning so quickly. She loves to read (or at least pretend to)! She babbles unlike any toddler I have every seen (we have plenty of videos!). She is animated and beautiful and lively. William is slowly coming getting brave - a little too brave! He pretty much always has a bruise. He is silly and sweet and adorable. He has also started to babble which I LOVE!

Kate's birth story

Kate's birth story (born April 11, 2013):
10/8/2015



As is likely true with many mothers' first babies, Kate came late. I of course had heard so many stories of women having their babies early; naturally I thought I would have mine early, which made week 40 extra unbearable. Kate was an easy pregnancy, but boy was I ready for her to come out.

I started having contractions the night before we were already scheduled to be induced (at 41 weeks). Ben said, "just wait, we're going in the morning anyway," thinking it was probably a false alarm because most first time moms go in for a false alarm, right? I knew after a while that these were not false contractions, and this only proved to be more true when I was in sneering pain once we were only half way to the hospital. Even with those painful contractions, I was apparently not dilated and before they realized that I was actually in labor, one of the nurses said I'd probably have to walk around for a while (I could barely move or breath, so that wasn't going to happen).

Once the nurses gave me a mild drug, I started dilating quickly and we had Kate somewhere around 6 or 7 am, after only being at the hospital for about 6 hours. Yes I had an epidural, and yes it was amazing because I was at complete peace even while pushing. I love modern medicine;-)

I remember it being dark because the sun hadn't come up yet and possibly because my eyes were blurry from lack of sleep. I was ready to get out of that hospital within a few hours (it's not my favorite place) but a pediatrician came in to tell us that Kate would need to stay in the hospital for a week in order to receive antibiotics. We were heartbroken at the time, but now we look back and realize it was no big deal - mostly just precautionary. Still, it is really hard to leave your baby in a hospital and go home without a baby. I felt like I barely got to see her and all I wanted to do was hold her and make sure she knew I was her mom. I remember being afraid that she wouldn't bond with me. She did, and it all turned out just fine:-)

I felt bad for Mom because she had come a week before my due date, and since Kate came a week after my due date, I imagine she was ready to get home. When we told her Kate would not even be coming home for a week, she was good enough to stay anyway at least until I healed a bit. Lots of family came to visit Kate in the hospital, and the room was so tiny! I definitely wished that people would just visit us at home, but then again, I liked to just be left alone at home as well. Looking back I feel like it's weird that I felt that way because really when you have a baby you should just want to show them off, right? I think I felt that way with William. I think I was just overwhelmed and didn't want to feel like people were looking at me.

Kate had a good first year and Ben and I adjusted to parenthood as well as any parent does (without sleep and with the help of a little caffeine) but she definitely had stranger issues; she screamed if anyone even looked at her. Once she was old enough to be in nursery, you can guess that one of us had to be in there with her. I have pouted about this one too many times and have often thought that we did something wrong to make her this afraid of people or this attached to us; now that we have Will, we can see that this is simply unique to Kate. She has definitely made strides. While we still cannot leave her in nursery, she will stay with a babysitter and she actual enjoys it. This has meant the world to us because we can finally go on dates!

Most importantly, I love my little girl. I have experienced growth in my capacity to love more than I could have anticipated. My love for my husband has also deepened as I have seen him be protective of Kate and enjoy her Kate-ness. It has been a beautiful blessing to see God's plan of happiness unfold in my own life.